Understanding your feelings about seeing doctors

Lots of people feel nervous about going to the doctor, especially when they haven’t seen a doctor in a while or when seeing a new doctor for the first time. Before an appointment, it is wise to get prepared. You can try some or all of the following:

• Talk to a supportive person like a parent, friend or peer who can support you
• Find out as much as you can about the questions and queries you might have and create a list of things that you need to ask. Be prepared to be flexible- it doesn’t have to be perfect. When some of the questions you prepared are not relevant anymore, you can always see it as an opportunity to gather information for future questions.
• Don’t feel guilty or feel that you shouldn’t be making a big deal out of your emotional reaction. This is a big deal. You function best when you feel you have some control over the situation. It may help to come to the appointment prepared, which will enable you to have the confidence so that your opinion is heard.
• When you are visiting a new gp, use the first appointment to introduce yourself and build a relationship with the gp instead of beginning to discuss subjects that might be triggering for you
• Do a telehealth introduction first if you feel you might be more supported when you are at home in a familiar space and somewhat removed.
• Ensure that you book a longer appointment to allow time to ask questions and take your time with the doctor.
• Send through as much information as you can beforehand to inform the GP and insist that the GP read through it before you are willing to see them. If you start the appointment and realise that they haven’t looked at the information you sent them earlier, ask them if they are happy to defer the appointment until they’ve read the information. This will save you the effort and emotional labor to educate the GP about what it means to be intersex. It might be a disappointment to hear that they haven’t gone through the trouble after making the effort to help them prepare. Don’t feel like you need to continue, finish the appointment or you go back to a GP who you didn’t feel comfortable with.
  There are many reasons you might feel like the GP is not the right person for you. They may not understand your specific variation, or might ask questions that are unnecessary and triggering to you like “When was your last period?”. They might disregard your pronouns or preferred language around your variations. Even if you don’t know why you feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed, your feelings are valid and it is always ok to let them know if you need some time out.
• You are allowed to record an appointment with a doctor in some states and in WA and SA you need to ask for consent first. This will help you capture what was said, taking some pressure off you to remember facts and referrals.
• Don’t hesitate to ask for explanations
• Think about helpful techniques that can help you stay calm, like your favourite music, a funny friend who can make you laugh, essential oils or something to look forward to afterwards.